I have known the editor of this fine publication for some years now. I am as deeply disturbed now by this knowing as I was when I first clapped eyes on the enormous bastard. I first met Stuart Woodbury at some bike launch (back in 2008, Ed), and I remember wondering who this unknown but gigantic sumbitch was, what magazine he represented, and what he imagined he was doing there, in all his gangly enormity among the elite Australian motorcycle press cadre. I have worked in this filthy industry for 30 years. It has scarred me and exalted me in equal measure. I do love it so. And I guard its gates with a gimlet eye.

OH, BAD(?) LUCK You do not have to have lots of horsepower to pull spectacular crashes. I once ran a rented Mobylette into a construction ditch in Tahiti after eating too much raw fish marinated in lime juice at Harry’s Bar. Sampling all those different rum cocktails might have had something to do with it, too. For all I know, I’m the only person ever to get any air on a Mobylette. The mild power output plus the location of the engine – over the front wheel – combine to make it an earthbound vehicle indeed. Except when you ride it up a berm of dirt left by a road crew and into the resulting ditch that they have been lining with concrete. I flew for a fraction of a second, much like a superannuated albatross, and then disappeared face first.

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity! WHO CAN HAZ BAGZ? Who bags Andy Strapz’ Shoulda Bagz this time? It’s longstanding contributor Peter Colwell, whose luck has turned and bitten him on the, er, the bag. While a Shoulda Bagz will certainly not hold what a full-sized MotoQuest bag will, it will take care of the essentials. We have always found ours useful, and we can only suggest that you check out Andy’s website www.andystrapz.com if you have luggage or other travel requirements!

SINGING THE PRAISES OF A BITZA WORDS LESTER MORRIS Ever heard of a motorcycle called the ‘Ever Onward’? Chances are you never have, and chances are you never will again, for it was an exceedingly strange machine which I rode during a trip to Melbourne in 1981. It was one of eight Classic motorcycles I rode at the time, with most of the road test reports published in Two Wheels magazine. My in-depth report of the Ever Onward was published in Classic Motorcycles.

SEE THE BIG LAKE OF SOUTH AUSTRALIA This month we head to South Australia and the region where records fall – Lake Gairdner. Most of the year this is a huge inland lake, but when it dries out the salt hardens,creating a fairly fl at surface ideal for attempts at the world speed records. But pretty much any time of year you choose to go, the area has some amazing sights.

VISITING TOKYO? TAKE SOME TIME OUT FROM THE CITY AND VISIT A TOWN – BIKE TOWN, THAT IS Yes, you’re quite right. This is a Honda 250. Or was, anyway The heavily built-up area between JR Ueno Station and the adjacent district Showa Dori is even shown on maps as “Bike Town”. It has a bewildering number of motorcycle dealers, repair shops and accessory stores all jammed into buildings with vanishingly small footprints. Some of them have floors which are no larger than the average Australian bedroom, and some of the bigger businesses like Corin are spread over several buildings.

YOU’RE KIDDING! COMPILED BY THE BEAR No matter how you look at the Himalaya, the sight is overwhelming COME TO NEPAL Good news, says John Cayless from Asian Experience Motor Bike Tours: Nepal is open for business and encouraging tourists to return. The devastating earthquake occurred in April which was at the end of the tourist season. This has allowed time to repair the tourist infrastructure (hotels, roads & bridges ) in preparation for the next tourist season from Sept to April.

AND THEY’RE ALL WINNERS WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN Forty five clicks south of Too woomba slap in the middle of the beautiful Darling Downs and well off the New England Hwy, you’ll find Clifton, a town of just 1100 people but three pubs. Competition is fierce between them, and looking for an edge, Vanessa from O’Shanleys Irish Pub emailed me back in July suggesting I drop by to check out what they’re doing to keep the kegs flowing and riders arriving.